Something that I’ve been thinking about recently is about being a host. In this millennial age of traveling, we’re seeing Couchsurfing, Airbnb and regular friend-to-friend hosting encourage a close-to-home form of experiencing a city that used to be a rarity. We’re giving up fancy hotels and resorts for an opportunity to see places from a local’s point of view. There are many reasons for this, some of which I may cover in a future blog post, but having been on both sides of the coin, as a guest and a host, I thought I’d share my Three Golden Rules for being a host. These will help aspiring or improving hosts think about how to be better stewards of their surroundings to their guests and will also help visitors be better in knowing what a host should or can offer them.

Rule #1: Have a List

Everyone who is going to come visit a city wants recommendations on where to go and what to eat. As a good host, you’re going to have your treasure chest of recommendations, but you also know you’re going to want to triage the main sights for the visitor based on how long they’re in town for.

I will say this, for all the flak about avoiding ‘touristy sights’, I have no such hate for the attractions that bring people to the country in the first place. For example, I personally went to Cusco for Macchu Picchu but stayed for a lot more and eventually fell in love with the city.  So don’t be afraid to put those on the list – you can always mark it out as a potential tourist trap if your guests are complete purists.

Each list must be able to survive without your oversight but still speak to your story as a host of the country. It must be unique from any of the blogs or travel sites any self-respecting Googler can find, but at the same time comprehensive in providing a holistic view of the place. I’ve had friends who’ve prepared complete walking routes for me to friends who have collected photos for me to use as inspiration. What you see above is my basic list for Singapore – I’m currently trying to improve on this with pictures and sub-lists (on food for example). Many a time, regardless of whether I’m in the country or not, this list connects my guests to me without my physical presence. I still am responsible for their time in my country because I want them to have as much of an honest view as possible of what my country has to offer.

Rule #2: Show them Real People

Let’s be real – a regular tourist is going to only meet two kinds of people: 1) people in the service industry 2) other tourists. Most tourist spots are self-enclosed bubbles in that sense, providing most of what a person could want without necessarily leaving the area. But most travelers these days want to talk to local people who are living their day to day lives. Now this, of course, isn’t as simple. Local people who are living their day to day lives… well, they’re living their day to day lives. They have to work, shop, take care of their kids etc. As a host, you too may have to only meet your guests in evenings after going to churn out some dough in the day. But that shouldn’t stop you from creating opportunities for your guests to discover a local way of life in whatever way possible.

If they want to go to bars, give them options away from the touristy but glitzy bar towards a local pub where people like to mingle. If they want to have dinner, take them to the heartlands or away from the downtown area so that they can see what regular life is like. Experiencing local culture goes beyond the arts, it peers into the habits of regular folk and how they’ve built their lives around the way the city is. I personally like to invite my guests to a Hidden Good event once in a while, where they can meet other Singaporeans discuss local issues. It’s normally just a 2-hour event but it’s rich in its ability to look into what is on the Singapore pulse and provide insight.

The best, of course, is to provide a homestay and it’s completely fine to ask for a token sum to cover some food expenses. It’s even better if you’re simply just extending a shelter for some wandering souls. I’ve been immensely blessed by the hospitality of my friends and even strangers and it’s been important for me to return the same. Let your guests understand that in your city, as with most others, there are two worlds – the one that you live in the day to day, and the one that they get to see for a short stint. It’s not a bad thing – it’s just the way tourism works. But as travelers, we crave a deeper connection to our destinations and superb hosts can go a long way in filling that gap.

Rule #3: Policies and Practices 

As a visitor, a lot of what you’re seeing is the ‘what’. But a lot of times, the true traveler is curious about the ‘why’ and the ‘how’. Museums and online research tend to do a good job of covering the basics – from history to helpful tips – but a lot of times, things don’t click till you have a local explain things right as they happen. This is the only rule that requires a host to be physically present, but it’s the most important.

As a host, it is important that you know your own city and country. You too must be a regular traveler in your city and wander around. Of course, you have the luxury of context to put things together and identify how policies have shaped your surroundings. For example, when I discover abandoned structures in Singapore, I’m able to connect it to urban planning policies, historical events and sociological trends within the country. That way, when I bring my friends to such places, it’s more than just an Instagram spot. It’s a case study of a Singaporean way of life in a very unique form.

Travelers are extremely curious about the cities they visit and introducing them to larger concepts such as policies and practices allows them to tether a deeper connection. As an ambassador, this is extremely important because you’ve just connected another soul to your city. They’re able to appreciate the complexity of what’s happening around them. We can all agree that we love it when ‘things click’ for us. This is how you can help as a host.

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So there we go, my golden rules for being a host in the millennial age of travel. I’m sure there are more tips so if you do have them, drop them in the comments below! I’d love to hear what else you think are good ways to improve the host profile.