I have the option of taking the bus or the Tube every time I commute between home and school, and almost always I choose the bus. One of the biggest perks of living in London is the ability to take in the sights, and I’ve had plenty of moments where I look up and get a quick thrill knowing that I’m living in quite honestly one of the most magical places in the world. The trifecta of Singapore, Chicago and London have embedded in me a deep sense of magic, and I’d be damned if I lived my life any other way.

We’re entering my 8th week in London and I’m probably much better settled in than I expected. It’s good timing then for me to go back to Chicago this week for a reunion with the old friends. I’ll be honest – I’ve been feeling a bit lost in London. The LSE is a very different type of institution from Northwestern, and while both have their pros and cons, I’m much more akin to Northwestern’s mix than the LSE’s.  One of the biggest challenges has been finding an institution-centric purpose.  For example, in Northwestern, I could trust that I’d have the time to work towards creating sustainable change within and across the organizations I was a part of. Here, the LSE’s student organizations are vastly separated and disjointed. The city-centric nature of the program forces me to find new purpose and I felt like I was lost in the forest (a feeling I actually know about from the army). I’ve struggled to pen down my goals for my year ahead, and going to Chicago is my way of getting back in touch with some of the energy I left behind and hopefully getting the space to decide my goals.

The direction I want to head in has always been clear though. I want to be a good person and I want to do great things. I’ve struggled with this more and more. Being good should be a simple task, being great should be the goal that gets you working. But I find day to day that in order to be ethical, socially responsible and also make bold strategic decisions, you lose a lot of hair. Being good and great is tough because being good is going beyond just being kind or friendly. Being good means recognizing I live right above a street where homeless people sleep out in the cold – and doing something about it. Being good means recognizing that there’s a conflict happening in some part of the world and I am connected to that experience. These are values and feelings I choose to ascribe to my existence, not because I believe humanity was designed that way, but because I think they open the doors for the right kind of work to be done. Being great at being good means thinking about these complex problems and understanding that it’s not just an optimization scenario. I want to be a better person. I want to do good.

The last thought that has occupied my mind is well…that of my mind. As a combination of the vast amount of academic papers I’ve read for my program and the stuff I do for Deliberate Evolution, I’ve been stretching my mind. I’ve had to dissect, analyze and form opinions on so many things to the point where I believe this is the most I’ve ever been intellectually stimulated. It’s a good thing – I think I’m finally realizing the benefit of a college education, but I also keep pushing myself to not lock myself up in an ivory tower. Sometimes I get very annoyed with all these models and generalizations because while I can empathize with the need to simplify to understand situations, I fear we become too comfortable with the models and don’t see reality as it is again. The conversations are becoming more professionally oriented as well – how will these topics relate to what I want to do in Singapore. How will I champion these ideas in the context of my country, my workplace and my home? I’ve always been a practitioner and these questions need people to answer them. I’m getting very excited to go back and work with people in my country (and abroad) on these big-idea projects.

So, there it is. October has been a bit of a mish-mash of things, mostly good with splatters of struggle in between. Things will peak and culminate soon, and perhaps this is the month for that. I have trips to Oslo and Copenhagen planned, and I’ll be back in Singapore next month, so there’s lots to look forward to. You’ll hear from me soon.