It’s surreal to think that just 72 hours ago, I was held in the holding room of Jaipur Airport, my passport kept by the immigration authority while I faced the reality of the moment. I’ve maintained that the increase in experience travelling in no way mitigates the possibility of a travel mishap. In the countless trips taken, I’ve seen a lot – whether it’s my bus being held at gunpoint in the mountains of Peru or my plane having to ground itself mid-flight in Montana, USA due to a suspected death on-board.  Yet, this episode takes the cake for admittedly one of the most incredulous sagas I’ve endured and one that I will never forget.

Let’s recount the facts as far as I remember it.

Every year, I make an annual trip to visit my grandparents in Coimbatore. To make it something less of a routine (because I hate routines), I tend to plan a leg around the visit to see a new part of the region. This time, I chose to check out Rajasthan, a beautiful part of North India that I had wanted to see for a while now. My trip there included a transit in Kuala Lumpur (KL), Malaysia, before I eventually landed in Jaipur, capital of Rajasthan. The total travel time was around 9 hours.

I also have a special visa called the Overseas Citizenship of India (OCI) because I was born in India before becoming a Singapore Citizen. The good thing about such a visa is that I don’t have to keep applying for a new visa every time I enter India. The catch is that it’s a physical passport-sized document that I can’t afford to lose.

When I landed in Jaipur, as I’m getting ready to go through immigration, I’m pulling out my documents from my trusty travel bag (which has seen nearly all 46 countries with me) but as you would expect, I cannot find my OCI Visa. I start to get worried but realize I should probably flag the information to someone. I start to recall that I had passed my travel documents to someone in KL Airport and just taking what they gave back to me in the tray – my OCI was likely retained by them, probably by accident.

Unfortunately, Jaipur Immigration insists that I need a physical OCI Visa to proceed into the country. At this point, as if on cue, the airline team receive a Whatsapp message from KL Immigration  – they’ve found my OCI Visa and have sent a picture over. Jaipur Immigration insists that I can’t be let through despite this as they need a physical copy and they don’t have any legal provisions to permit otherwise. My entry is refused and I have to catch the next flight back to KL, which is in 48 hours – no buts about it. Till then, I have to stay in their holding room and pass time.

I’ve kept it mostly matter of fact till this point because I am filing an insurance claim and I want to keep my recount consistent. But in a bid to process the last few days and to also provide some value to you, the reader, I’ve decided to summarize some of my key learnings and reflections from this saga.

Keep Calm and Carry On

Maybe it’s because of the travel experience or maybe it’s because I’ve been using Headspace a lot, but when the series of events unfolded and even all the way till I eventually got on a flight back, I was surprisingly calm. Even I surprised myself. When I called my family to let them know what had happened, I had to calm them down instead of the other way around.

Many friends asked me how I achieved that level of mental clarity and consistency throughout the saga. I honestly don’t think I was actively electing to do anything in the moment. My mind simply acknowledged that there was no value in worrying or being anxious and deducted that being calm was best for my body. I realized I was subconsciously practicing healthy breathing and actively trying to focus on what I could have influence over.

Could I be nice to the immigration and airline team? Could I ask for options on how to move forward? Could I ask for small comforts like water or Wifi? Surprisingly, I was responding in what was probably the best manner to the situation. Keeping calm avoided making me confrontational while I sought to find small compromises and conveniences from the authorities.

Recognize the difference between People and Institutions

One frequent mistake people make in such scenarios, and in many other scenarios regarding enforcement of rules, is to confuse the people enforcing the rule with the rule itself. Was I annoyed that they demanded a physical visa from me when they had photographic proof of it already? Sure. But that wasn’t the officer’s fault – the law simply didn’t allow for it.

I could write a strongly worded email to the Indian Immigration Authority, highlighting the inflexibility of such a rule and how it affected my trip, hoping that the powers that be review their policies in my favor. But none of that involved being angry at the officer who unfortunately had to enforce that rule. What could I do but still try to be a human being?

I’m still nonplussed that I actually connected with the airline team and immigration authorities there. I became a smiling patron of the Chai man, who served a mean chai. I learned about the textile business of one of the immigration officers who came from Gujarat. I even shared stories about Morocco and Mexico to my handler because he wanted to learn about my travels. These relationships I had control over and I tried to focus on. I didn’t expect anything in return but these people ended up showing me kindness in their own personal ways, whether it was to bring me food regularly or to make sure I got the best seats on my flight back (I had a whole row to myself on one of the legs).

Even when things are going south, it’s important to never devalue the people around you and forget the power of relationships.

Airports are interesting in the downtime

I’m glossing over the obvious lesson from the whole saga, which is to always keep your visa tightly on you, to get the more interesting reflections from this story. I have to say, while I never want to go through this experience again, my curiosity was tickled by the fact that I got to see the workings of the Immigration and Airport team throughout the day.

Look, Jaipur’s holding rooms sucked. There were bedbugs in nearly all the beds and almost no ventilation. But I now know what happens when someone gets stuck in immigration. I also know how it works for someone to essentially cut across established and sanitized channels to get from the Arrivals area to the Departure area  – so many locks had to be unlocked for me. I was brought to unique offices and met airport staff roles I never knew existed as I was security escorted from Jaipur all the way to Singapore, where finally our Immigration and Checkpoint Authority (ICA) completed an incident report with my recount.

I got to see the boring but routine parts of airport functions, from preparation for an airline arrival to closing of immigration counters. Everything was a new learning opportunity that made me appreciate the complexity of an airport operation. As a frequent traveler, how could you not love that?

The Reality of Fear

My last three paragraphs sound incredibly positive and I’m being completely authentic in all of them. I genuinely felt and responded that way in the past 3 days. Yet, today as I went to work, only 24 hours after I landed back in Singapore, I felt a big disconnect from reality. I felt like I had just gone through a dramatic series of events only to end up back at a work desk, looking at complex reports and setting up new calendar meetings.

It was probably only then that I realized that I’m still processing the saga that just unfolded, and that I’m not fully done with it. Yes, I came back safe, had my OCI Visa back in hand (KL Airport had sent it to Singapore for me), and was still going to visit my grandparents, but I also felt that I had not completely dealt with the fact that I was in probably one of the scarier situations of my life.

Imagine if I wasn’t in a country where I had the same skin color, or if I was in a country that did not care that I was a citizen of another sovereign country, Singapore, or if I had just met a uncouth officer who did not want to give me food and a bed. So many things could have gone wrong, and while they didn’t, I can’t count myself lucky every time.

I don’t know how to deal with the reality of the past few days so I’m just putting it out there that I don’t – in as much of an authentic way that I have promised to be. I feel lucky but also heavy, safe but still lost.

I would never wish the above series of events on anyone, but if you do find yourself in a similar situation at some point in your life, I hope my reflections help and I offer my assistance to you. The biggest gift I got from all of this was the warmth and assurance from dear family and friends all throughout the saga, without fail and overflowing with comfort. I can and will never forget how that.