Nobody exists on purpose, nobody belongs anywhere, everybody’s gonna die. Come watch TV.

Morty, Rixty Minutes, Rick & Morty

2018 has definitely been my quarter-life crisis in full force. In the first six hours of this year, I had watched fireworks over the Thames, drank champagne, danced and then boarded a flight to the mountainous regions of Switzerland. Over the span of the rest of the year, I visited a total of 15 countries, finished my Masters at the LSE, started working, wrestled with religion, grew my own sourdough culture and embarked on a new podcast… amongst other things. It sounds exactly like the kind of busy-ness I get myself involved in when I am too afraid to confront the reality of life – that I am not really living in a groove with my purpose. Part of this post is a major stock-take of my life this year but I am also committing to provide some clear goals for me for 2019 – things that I want you, my friends and followers, to collaborate with me on. I want to transform my energy away from being busy and towards being useful.

I had already started facing questions on existentialism since mid-2017 after a major episode. I had developed a sense of direction based on structures and norms I was familiar with, crutches that would have been easy to lean back on. But after recognizing that most of these structures were in their own ways restrictive, the deconstruction of everything gave way to an honest but painful void. Coupled with another transient term doing my Masters in the UK and the lack of any stability, I let myself get distracted by reading a multitude of books and traveling to a variety of countries. 2018 was the year where my mind was stretched beyond what I thought possible. I had seen and tasted things, engaged in complex discussions and developed close relationships with unique souls. 2018 saw the nomad in me in his most unleashed form, with a disregard for most traditions and a biting hunger for everything that is new and stimulating. While all of these were powerful divergent indulgences that gave me the mental elasticity and nimbleness to know more of what life potentially is, it also gave me exactly the veneer of productivity that was insincere. Sure, I was doing a lot of very interesting things, but deep down, I knew that my life goals were not directing my choices. I had alluded to this in May when I deemed The Exploration era of my life as coming to a close as I begin moving towards a more intentional targetting of efforts.

At a point in time, where people do not blog anymore, it must be indicative why I still operate on this platform. I am in constant need of reflection, connection, and inspiration because of how my mind and soul operate. This blog is my collection of tales in that regard. The ideas I have danced with and the styles I have experimented with have all been in vain if not for the crucial meaning for my existence. Bojack Horseman, The Good Place, Rick & Morty, and so many other content pieces point to an era where I and many others recognize the void yet are deciding to find meaning regardless. Existentialism is putrid if it is self-pitying but it is incredibly invigorating if it can remind you that the marginal value you derive for yourself is always worth less than the good you can do for those who suffer. Suffering is what we all can agree humanity needs less of. 2018 was incredibly expansive but 2019 shall be a year of focus.

There’s going to be a lot of new things in 2019. First of all, it will be the first year where I am working full-time and actually working on setting down roots. There are things that I will continue doing such as reading, making bread (I’m going to be trying making Kombucha too), and of course, traveling. But my intention shall be focused on a number of key projects. I am looking for collaborators and partners who are in it for the long haul. Here are some of the key ideas:

1. I want to start curating effective networks of people and resources to address some of the most pertinent issues in Singapore and Southeast Asia. These could be spaces of conversation or even task forces, but I want to leverage my uniquely diverse network to actually get things moving.
2. I want to look at highly scalable capital-centric projects that provide exposure to core financial concepts and phenomena as a means to empowering future work.
3. I want to develop a Travel-net as an actual software product. Ping me for more info.

Anything that falls out of these key goals will probably require some higher band of evaluation. I need to learn to start saying no more and to start being effective with the limited years I have on this planet. I’m sure 2019 will be a game-changing year of pivots if I keep to it.

I’m excited for the adventure.